The simple skill we’ve lost (that’s costing us big time)
I went looking for a radio and found the real problem with how we communicate.
I needed static.
Not metaphorically, actual radio static. That crackling, half-tuned-in sound. The moment when a station is almost there, but not quite.
I wanted to use it in the podcast version of this newsletter (if you’re not following the podcast, I’d love you to; I’m a much better talker than I am a writer. Listen here).
But… it turns out I don’t own a radio.
Which is awkward. For a former radio host.
So I did what any reasonable person would do - I asked around. No one had one. Not friends. Not family. Not even the person I was certain would still have one tucked away in a drawer somewhere.
At that moment, I realised the radio wasn’t the real problem, but was, after all, a metaphor for a much bigger issue.
At some point, we stopped tuning in, manually.
We don’t scan for signal anymore. We don’t adjust dials. We don’t even choose what we listen to. Playlists shuffle. Podcasts auto-queue. The algorithm serves up what it thinks we want, before we even ask!
And that’s what we forget when we communicate. Tuning in ISN'T automatic.
We expect that if we say something important, people will care.
That if we turn up the volume, we’ll drown out the others.
But finding a connection doesn’t work like that.
Just because we’re broadcasting doesn’t mean anyone’s receiving.
Just because we’re clear doesn’t mean we’ll cut through.
Just because we’re right doesn’t mean people will believe us.
We need to know how to adjust and find the right frequencies. Manually.
This is exactly why I developed Frequency Thinking.
It’s how I help leaders, teams, and experts tune in - on purpose.
Frequency Thinking: The missing piece in communication
This idea isn’t new; plenty of theories explain why some messages land while others don’t. But each stops just short of the full picture. Let’s look at some of the big ones.
There’s Shannon & Weaver’s Signal-to-Noise Ratio, which tells us that a clear signal is easier to hear. It’s true. But what it misses is that clarity alone doesn’t create connection. You can have a perfectly clear message, but if someone isn’t listening, it won’t land.
There’s Zajonc’s Mere Exposure Effect, which suggests that repetition builds familiarity. But it assumes that seeing = absorbing, but people ignore things all the time! If they aren’t tuned in to begin with, repetition won’t always help.
There’s McLuhan’s The Medium is the Message, which highlights that the way something is delivered shapes how it’s received. Again - it’s true. But even the best medium can’t fix a message people aren’t tuned in to receive, no matter where it’s shared.
Then there’s Giles’s Communication Accommodation Theory, Klapper’s Selective Exposure Theory, and the Elaboration Likelihood Model (and more ideas in the recommendations below) each explaining a missing piece of why messages land or don’t.
One that comes close is Resonance Theory, originally developed by physicist Herbert Fröhlich and later applied to communication research. It suggests that messages land when they ‘vibrate’ at the same frequency as what someone already believes, feels, or experiences.
It’s a powerful concept. But it assumes resonance is something that just happens, rather than something we can actively create to shift thinking and beliefs.
All of these are hugely important, but none of them show us how to actively tune people in to our frequency, how to move from sending out noise to creating resonance… with others.
Frequency Thinking: The Nutshell Version.
I reckon there are two (very straightforward) elements that determine whether your message cuts through:
Signal: The message you’re sending out.
Reception: The way it’s being received.
When both are weak, you get static. Which, on reflection, sounds a bit like crickets! No one notices.
When the signal is strong, but the reception is crowded, you get interference. Your message is competing with too much noise, making it hard to pick up or focus on.
When the reception is tuned in, but the signal is weak, you get distortion. They can hear you, but something is off, unclear, or confusing.
When both are strong, you get resonance. People hear, feel, and act on your message. They’re literally (or is it metaphorically?) on your wavelength.
So the real question is: Do you know how to tune people in, manually?
Where are you on the dial?
Static: The Starting Point
We usually start here, sharing our message, hoping to be heard. But the message isn’t reaching anyone. It’s just white noise. The questions to ask:
Do people seem disengaged when I speak?
Do I feel like I have to repeat myself just to be noticed?
Interference: The Competition
So we try harder, turning up the volume, sending more messages, pushing harder to be heard. But instead of cutting through, we just get drowned out in the noise. The questions to ask:
Am I saying more, but getting fewer real responses?
Are people acknowledging me, but then immediately moving on?
Distortion: The Misfire
When turning up the volume doesn’t work, we overcorrect. We tweak too much, adjusting our message to fit what we think people want to hear, we copy others. But in the process, we lose clarity or consistency. People hear it, sure. But it sounds off, unclear, or confusing. The questions to ask:
Are people asking for clarification instead of acting on what I’ve said?
Do they seem interested but hesitant, unsure of what to do next?
Resonance: The Shift
We stop broadcasting and start tuning, creating the conditions that help them to find and receive our signal. We know where hear when:
People are nodding, engaging, and repeating our ideas back to us and to others.
They remember what we said long after we said it.
So, where did I end up?
In my car, pushing buttons, chasing static (you can hear how that went in the podcast version), realising that the act of tuning - once second nature - is now something we’ve completely forgotten how to do. Not just with radios. With everything.
Being heard isn’t about volume nor is it about messaging. It’s about resonance.
We need to think in frequencies. We need to know how to find out how people are listening, tune into their frequency, and only then can we help them discover ours.
No static. No interference. No distortion.
Just resonance.
Off the Record. The work I do off mic.
While I’m often talking about the work I do helping people master the mic, Frequency Thinking is the work I do behind closed doors. The conversations are always off the record and you won't hear stories about them here.
The best leaders, the ones who hold attention, shift conversations, and make their message land, aren’t just broadcasting into the void. They’re tuning in first. They bring me in when the stakes are high. When they need to cut through the noise, sense-check their message, and fine-tune their approach.
But I suspect I’ve become their dirty little secret (or as I prefer to be known, their secret weapon) because most leaders I work with feel an expectation that they’re meant to already know, and be good at this stuff!
However, my experience tells me that no one can get this right on their own. The environment we’re working in is always changing; we have too many biases, and the best leaders know they need key people to help sharpen their thinking.
This is some of my favourite work - and I want to do more of it!
So, if you know a leader who would love a secret weapon, or someone who values having a trusted thinking partner, I’d love to meet them! So, why not forward them this newsletter or, better still, introduce us: info@pennyterry.com
This week’s recommendation: How to cut through in a noisy world
📖 Read: “Noise” by Daniel Kahneman, Olivier Sibony & Cass Sunstein
Why do smart people make bad decisions? This book uncovers how random noise, biases, distractions, and inconsistent thinking, silently skews our judgment in everything from hiring to policymaking. If you want to filter out the interference and think more clearly, this is an interesting read. More here
🎧 Listen: Julian Treasure on The Diary of a CEO
What makes people actually want to listen? Julian Treasure, one of the world’s leading experts on communication, breaks down why our voices get ignored, how to hold attention, and the science behind speaking so people truly hear you. An interesting listen if you’ve ever wondered why some voices cut through while others get lost in the noise.
📺 Watch: How to Speak So That People Want to Listen – TED Talk by Julian Treasure
Ok, so, now you probably want to see Julian Treasure in action. This is his famous TED Talk, where he distills everything about why some voices get ignored while others command attention and what you can do to make people lean in when you speak. It’s a bit old, but again, it's great to get your mind working.
👀 Follow: David JP Phillips
David JP Phillips loves to talk about the science behind what makes stories unforgettable. His TED Talk The Magical Science of Storytelling unpacks how great storytelling triggers emotions, builds connection, and makes ideas stick. He drops bits of wisdom here and there on neuroscience, persuasion, and how to speak so people actually listen. He’s worth a follow: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidjpphillips/