Subject: The tiny shift that changes everything
Influence isn’t about volume; it’s about resonance.
I was writing an email to myself last night, as you do. Sending myself an article that I wanted to read later (and have dropped it below for you to read, too). And just before I hit send, I did something bizarre. I typed:
"Cheers, Pen."
Ah yep… to myself.
Autopilot. Muscle memory. A habit so ingrained that I unconsciously communicated it with... myself.
This little act highlights what most of us are missing.
We think we’re in control of how we communicate. We think we’re making conscious choices. And while we can get in control, more often than not, we’re just following the herd, whether we mean to or not.
The herd is everywhere!
This week, I listened to a podcast that looked into herd mentality (link is below), and it hit me hard. We are all deeply influenced by the crowd.
We copy what others do to fit in.
We reject what others do to stand out.
We rely on AI, which pulls from the herd.
We follow best practice, which is what herd has already figured out.
And none of it is really working!!
Right now, the loudest voices are owning our platforms - literally and metaphorically - and the instinct is to shout louder to compete.
My take is that yelling only makes us louder, not easier to hear.
So if we’re not shouting to get the attention of the herd, what do we do?
We stop reaching for our volume dial and start adjusting our tuning dial.
Tiny shifts tune you in
The other night, my son looked at me and said:
"Mummy, you look different. All fancy and stuff."
All I’d done was put on a jacket.
It was tiny shift, a slight turn of the dial, but he noticed.
That’s how frequency works. People don’t just notice big, dramatic changes. They tune into subtle signals that feel just different enough to stand out.
I reckon that’s how influence works now. It’s not about being louder or bigger, it’s about tuning in until people can’t help but hear you clearly.
The science of subtle influence
These three psychological principles explain why small shifts can have a massive impact.
The Mere-Exposure Effect – The more we see something, the more we like it. Repetition builds familiarity, and familiarity builds trust. But it has to feel organic. We hate things that are shoved in our faces; we warm to what subtly integrates into our world.
Small shift advantage: Instead of making a big, jarring change, introduce small, consistent shifts that build over time. Think of it like a signature move, something people start to expect from you, without ever feeling forced.The Von Restorff Effect – Also known as the “isolation effect.” Our brains notice what breaks the pattern. When something stands out slightly (but doesn’t scream for attention), it becomes memorable.
Small shift advantage: You don’t need to be the loudest person in the room, you just need to do one thing differently. One word. One colour. One pause in the conversation. Those are the things people remember.The Nudge Theory – Change happens when it feels low-risk. People resist big shifts because they feel like a threat. But when something is easy to adopt - when it’s just a nudge - it’s far more likely to stick.
Small shift advantage: You don’t need to force people to listen. You just need to adjust the frequency until they naturally tune in.
Here are four small shifts that will make you Impossible to Ignore
Big, loud shifts don’t make people notice you. Small, intentional shifts do.
Have a signature move.
Be known for something small but unmistakably you. Maybe it’s how you open conversations (“Tell me something I wouldn’t expect”), how you wrap up meetings (“What’s the one thing that stuck with you?”), or a phrase you always use. Maybe it’s an outfit? A style of social post? The key is consistency because people remember what feels familiar.
Make sharing easy.
If you want people to spread your message, hand them the words. Instead of saying, “Tell others about this,” say, “Here’s the one idea I want you to steal and use today…” People take action when they feel like they’ve been handed something valuable to share that will make them look good.
Reframe resistance.
If someone pushes back, don’t argue. Instead, say “You’re right to be sceptical. A lot of people are.” This lowers defences and creates space for curiosity while avoiding shame.
Gently interrupt assumptions.
When someone makes a sweeping statement, instead of contradicting them, ask “Have you ever seen it work differently?” or “That’s one way to see it, what else could be true?” Gentle disruption opens minds far more than outright disagreement.
Big, loud shifts aren’t what make people listen. Tiny, intentional shifts do.
Your voice doesn’t have to be the loudest in the room. It just needs to be the one people remember.
So go on, go put on that jacket, and turn up your fancy frequency.
This Week’s Observations:
I’ve dug deep on the idea of small shifts, less is more and herd mentality. Here are my recommendations to help get you shifting.
📖 Read: I Studied the Top 1% of Substack Posts. Here’s the Pattern No One Talks About. Wes Pearce analysed hundreds of viral newsletters to crack the code on what makes people click, read, and share. The result? A framework that’s part psychology, part storytelling, and completely counterintuitive. Yes, it’s learning from the herd about the right frequency. If you write anything, even just emails, experiment with these shifts. I’ve just tried it! Read it here:
🎧 Listen: The Nudge Podcast – 7 Marketing Psychology Tips You Can Apply Today We all think we’re making rational decisions, but marketing psychology proves otherwise. This episode breaks down seven powerful tactics that brands use to influence you without you even realising. The first is about herd mentality and they are all there ready to help you start shifting. Listen here:
📺 Watch: This is another (quite famous) take on why more volume isn’t necessarily better. In The Paradox of Choice, psychologist Barry Schwartz argues that while we think having more options gives us freedom, it actually overwhelms us, making decisions harder and less satisfying. The same applies to communication. When we overload people with too much information, too many choices, or too much noise, they tune out instead of engaging. The secret isn’t saying more, it’s saying the right thing in the right way. Watch here: https://www.ted.com/talks/barry_schwartz_the_paradox_of_choice
👀 Follow: Dr. Tessa West. A social psychology professor who decodes human behaviour, workplace dynamics, and subtle influence. If you want to get inside people’s heads (without them realising), she’s one to watch. Follow her on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tessa-west-129b51131/
Work with me!
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